Some Things Are Hard to Get Over

I’ve been through some painful breakups that still hurt to this day. I try not to think about them, but it’s hard for me not to. There were a few that I still talked to but realized we were truly not compatible. One of them showed promise, but he was always working and never had time for me. Due to certain circumstances out of my control, we broke up. I tried to get back together with him in 2017, but it was doomed from the start. Now he doesn’t talk to me at all. I realize it’s better this way; to leave him alone so he can pursue his career without me.

In a way he still loves me…but he loves his career even more than he loves me. I wonder if certain situations didn’t happen from 2003-2006, would we have gotten married and had children? Most likely yes. I normally don’t post personal things like this, but it’s been on my mind since the fall of 2006 when we first broke up. I’ve matured a lot since my mid-20’s. Do I miss him? I miss the person he used to be and the good times we had. Now I don’t recognize this person I used to know.

He’s a shadow of his former self. I hope he finds someone loving and caring, and someone who will love him deeply. That person could’ve been me 11 years ago, but it wasn’t meant to be. My ex may not like this, but it’s how I felt about my last ex. I love my current ex but he’ll never be like “J”. He was in a league of his own and taught me things that I’ll carry for the rest of my life. It was hard to get over the breakup, but I did and I’ve matured since that time. Even though the breakup was painful, I don’t wish him any hard or ill will. I just hope he finds someone that he’ll grow old with and who will love him just as much as I did.



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