Getting Up Close And Personal

I’ve been going through some seriously tough issues over the past 2 years. I’ve been letting my blog go by the wayside and I take full responsibility for this. I’ve been worrying so much about my personal situation that I failed to keep my blog maintained properly. I let the situation overtake me and I cannot let that happen again. For privacy reasons I will not explain what those issues are, but I will say that taking care of your mental health is key when running a business. Never let anyone who is being negative towards you steal your thunder and make you feel worthless.

What upset me is that these people have mental health problems themselves but think they’re better than me because they’re “Keeping Up With the Joneses” and supposedly doing better than me. The worst form of stigma I’ve encountered is from my fellow mental health consumers and I realized that if I were to stay well, I had to love certain people from a distance. I also had to keep my business plans quiet because those people were sleeping on me and had low expectations of me. I refuse to go beyond the call of duty for certain individuals, only to get hate, jealousy and contempt back every single time. I have zero tolerance for abusive people and if anyone comes at me with combative behavior, I’m fighting back. I do not condone violence in any way but sometimes being diplomatic isn’t enough. My boyfriend tells me all the time that I can’t run away from everything, and he is 100% right. But if it’s apparent that it’s a battle I cannot win, I’m backing off (for now) and see what else can be done from a different perspective.

My main issue is people that don’t or refuse to understand the complexities of mental illness. I was diagnosed with mental illness in 1986…at age 3. My mother told me that I was paranoid, accusing people of trying to kill me and poison me. It gets much worse but I will spare you the horrible details. I never thought I’d see age 35, much less age 30. I was deemed a lost cause, never amounting to anything, a freak of nature that doesn’t deserve to be here. So if I hear someone talking trash about mental illness and I’m in earshot, I’m setting that person or persons straight (in a calm manner). If I told you all the full extent of what I’ve been through, you’d think it was F’ed up too. A real life Nightmare is as lightly as I can put it.

As I explained to a well known guru, I am self made, self taught. My IT skills were honed over a period of 21 years. Yes 21 years. I am largely self-taught. I had to learn almost everything on my own. If someone wouldn’t teach me, I did it myself. Someone said you’re not ready, I went over their head and did the task myself. It may take me longer, but I will get the job done no matter what’s thrown at me. Social Media Marketer, Promoter, Affiliate Marketer, Network Marketer, Web Developer, Blogger…a wearer of quite a few hats. I do it all because no one else would.

I laugh at those that doubt my abilities because those same people ask me for advice. My skill sets came with a painful price, but I wouldn’t change a thing if I was asked if I wanted to do my life all over again. I came from the streets, ran the streets for many years up until 2 years ago. I was diagnosed with mental illness, but I AM NOT MY ILLNESS. I am a flawed beautiful being and I will not change who I am to make others comfortable. I’m the driver, I drive my own ship and make my own destiny. If you’re not about change and bettering the Earth and human race, move out of my way. Simple as that.

I know I got a bit personal here, but this needed to be said. I’m getting tired of certain people coming at me and giving me grief because I don’t conform to society’s standards. I’ll continue to be me and stand out until the day I pass on. I’ll try to update my site twice a week and if I can do more I will. I realize that I was putting too many unrealistic expectations on myself, nearly burning out in the process. If you have any questions, comments or are interested in my services, contact me me at

 

 

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